It’s Food ‘n’ Flix time again! This month’s flick is Krampus, a horror comedy Christmas film about the eponymous German mythological creature. This month’s host is Heather from All Roads Lead to the Kitchen. Check out the host post here for details on how to participate, plus check out Food ‘n’ Flix to see what’s coming up in the next months!
I avoid horror films like the plague. For whatever reason, though, I love me some comedy horror. Krampus is a film that features gingerbread men shooting David Koechner with a nail gun, so I am here for this.
When Krampus opened with a shot of countertops loaded with very German-looking Christmas cookies, I laughed out loud. Why? I was in the midst of my own annual German Cookieocalypse, baking almost the exact same assortment. I was literally rolling Vanillekipferl as the scene panned over a tray of them. Once the grandmother on screen was revealed to indeed be German, it all made sense. The annual drive to bake hundreds of cookies is pretty much built into a German’s DNA, right next to the gene that makes us buy bicycles and obsessively recycle.
I enjoyed a lot of things about the film. It was fun without being excessively dark or deep, and it was very Christmas-y even in a horror setting. It’s just brainless fun, which we all need now and then.
Krampus wasn’t perfect, or anything. Any joke that amounted to “Fat/poor people, amirite?” definitely didn’t land with me, and the lore of the film was kinda nuts. The real-world legend of the Krampus is about punishing misbehaving children; it’s basically a hyper-frightening version of the ole coal-in-the-stocking. In this movie the Krampus kills the families of children when they get discouraged about adults being jerks. That’s… a little harsh, even by German morality tale standards. Which is impressive, considering this is the country that brought us “suck your thumbs and a maniacal tailor will cut them off with a giant pair of scissors.”
Honestly, Omi should’ve single-handedly torn the Krampus a new one. Old German women are tough as nails in the real world, y’all. That goat-legged monstrosity shouldn’t have been able to make it halfway down the chimney before grammy hobbled him with a rolling pin.
While Christmas cookies might be the obvious choice for this movie, I decided to go a different route. Specifically, a route that has booze: Eierlikör. The family in this movie could’ve used a stiff drink.
Eierlikör is like German egg nog, except it makes egg nog look like tap water. It’s extra thick, very alcoholic and absurdly rich. You shouldn’t serve full mugs of this stuff if you want your guests to remain standing for the duration of your shindig.
Eierlikör / “Egg Liquor” / German Eggnog
Yields: One 750ml bottle
6 large egg yolks
160g (1 1/2 cups) powdered sugar
250ml (1 cup) cream
175ml (3/4 cup) rum of your choice
1 vanilla bean, split and scraped
1. In a large glass bowl, combine all the ingredients except for the nutmeg. Heat over a double boiler while stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens somewhat and coats the back of a wooden spoon. Do not allow the Eierlikör to boil at any point.
2. Remove the mixture from the heat. Place a small strainer into a funnel and fill the Eierlikör into a sterilized 750ml bottle. Seal immediately and store in the fridge. For the best flavor, allow it to age a couple of days before drinking.
1. Don’t know how to sterilize a glass bottle? Here’s a simple tutorial!
2. Eierlikör thickens as it ages. If it’s too thick to pour, add additional rum into the bottle and give it a good shake. You can also add milk, but this will reduce the shelf life considerably. Only use it if you’ll be serving it all in the next day or two.
3. Eierlikör must be kept in the fridge. It can last for a good 6 weeks unopened, but once you open it it should be consumed within 2 weeks.
3. Eierlikör is usually served in sherry or shot glasses. Oh, and a quick grate of fresh nutmeg on top never hurt anybody.
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